Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

The flash looks like I have only about five books titles on that page. But in all reality there's fourteen. 86 more books to go, and today I have started the Midnighters. xD
That'd be the incredible bag I picked up about a week ago at Borders. I'm in love with it. xD But, I accidently spilt voltage mountain all inside it yesterday, which made me super sad. Whatevs. It's still doing ok.
OK. OTHER NEWS. For those who have read the story i've posted, or even the first paragraph about me cutting, and the way i feel about it, I'm getting help.
I went to my musical theatre teacher before third period started and asked him if we could talk, because i had a problem. I sort of rushed that all out, because i was nervous i'd back out. He told me we could talk right after school, and we did. He asked me what's going on, and first I told him about the economy. How mom's car got repossesed, how my moods change from really happy to really sad, how sometimes i just don't feel like myself. He asked me if I've ever had any self destruction thoughts, and i replied sometimes. He said he was concerned, and kept talking about tools, and how i'm not alone, and how things will be tough. He told me he wanted me to meet a Dr. Carlson, who he greatly recommended and said he would introduce me the next day and they would try and keep me in my happy state. I didn't meet her the next day, because I got scared and ran out right after class. I hope he's not mad at me.
But the point is, he was incredibly professional about it all, and knew just what to say, and didn't strike any nerves. The conversation was so so so so much easier than i thought it would be in my head, and in the end i was so proud of speaking to SOMEONE. My only concern now is that he doesn't tell my parents. I can't have that, I've hidden myself for about a year and a half now, and I can only imagine their reactions. I just felt like sharing, and if i happen to meet this Dr. person soon, I'll share the whole experience with you here. x] As long as she doesnt send me to the looney bin. lol.
Yesterday I also shot a video with friends. EFF YESH!
I was expecting about three people out of the bunch I asked to show up. About thirty showed up. You have no clue how ecstatic I was about that. I was in a dress, directing my loves around until about 6:30 at night. There was no better feeling then knowing all of those kids could be doing anything else on their friday night, and they decided to share it helping me. :] God, I love them.
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I'm going to leave you now. Thanks for lending your eyes, you may now advert them elsewhere. I'll update again really soon.<3